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Monthly Archives: June 2014

“Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.”      Albert Einstein

Where do we exist before we are conceived within our mother’s womb? As energy, pure potential; everywhere and nowhere at once.

All matter comes from particles of stars that existed billions of years ago. We are born of stardust and passion. (Or at least that is how my romantic nature chooses to see it.)

When we die, our bodies return to the earth, merging with the dirt and the dust from whence we came. And our energy transfers back to the swirling ether of the great void.

To me this is poetic and logical simultaneously. What could be better?

Thinking that our loved ones who have departed this world are now watching us suffer while they themselves live on in Heaven, a supposed place of peace and reward? How could one possibly be tranquil or joyful with the knowledge that their beloved remain struggling and suffering through the rest of their lives? Or even the reality of suffering on a global level? I find that to be a truly hellish idea.

It is strange how perceptions and feelings morph over time when grieving for those that have gone before us… Immediately following Zev’s death, I could find no way to reconcile myself in what had happened or where she had gone. I was too wrought with worry and despair; overcome with the obsessive thought “is my child okay?!” For, when a parent is separated from their child, it is natural for them to feel worry or at the least question the well being of the child. And when it is not possible to know, the mind tries desperately to answer the unanswerable, creating stories that will fill the gap, like puzzle pieces completing a picture.

Now, years later, I find it reassuring to think of her as existing everywhere and nowhere all at once. She is in the air that I breathe, her DNA lives within my body.

Romantically and poetically I would say her voice is in the wind, her beauty seen in the trees and flowers, her generous spirit the bright sun and her soft nature that of moonbeams.

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