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My dearest Zev,

After an emotionally turbulent week full of rage and anguish, I was given a day of grace.

Walking in the woods, surrounded by the tranquil stillness; I felt like a young babe being held safe in the arms of mother. The air was cool, a soft breeze coming and going like the ebb and flow of life… birth and death; back and forth. Round and round.

I miss you with a fierce ache, unmatched by any longing I have ever felt. And yet, walking through the forest today, in turns of sunshine and shade, I felt calm, even hopeful… I found myself looking forward to the warmth of spring and summer; sharing time with Zoe, delighting together in the beauty of our world. The last time I remember feeling true joy, and the kind of hope that runs with your blood, was when you were alive. I felt that every day with you.

Having your sister here is a salve to my pain. And I promise you that I will tell her about you every day that I am alive. She will feel as though she knows you. I will plant your love like a seed and watch it grow from her heart.

All my love, always,

Mama

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