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Monthly Archives: January 2014

Never before have I been able to live in the present so well or so eagerly; treasuring the now. I am acutely aware that every moment I have with Zoe is a gift.

Each smile fills me with immaculate joy; pure magic.

This is my purpose, my raison d’ĂȘtre. I know this as sure as I know the sun will rise tomorrow.

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I am filled to overflowing. Love of mother for child now has a physical outlet. Being able to snuggle, cuddle, kiss and hold my baby is like a magnetic force, slowly pulling the shattered peices of me back together.

I still miss Zev every single day; that will never change. My love for her is strong and true; it will not fade.

Now, my insides bask in the glow of motherhood once again. I feel whole. The longing I feel is still there, but lessened in having a child to nurture and hold in my arms. Holding this little being close to my chest, created from within my womb, is pure magic. I treasure all the small moments, the bright smiles and giggles, the soft touch, even the hardships of caring for one so fragile and helpless.

I treasured Zev and I made sure she knew I loved her every day, but this time it is different. This time I know the anguish of loss. This time I will not take one second for granted. I will make all of it count. I am enormously grateful.

My urge to mother, nurture, teach and love are being rekindled and it fills me with a joy as vast as the seven seas.