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Monthly Archives: February 2013

The spring temperatures today brings forth many things from the shadows and the depths of my psyche.

I feel a deep ache and powerful longing to embrace my little girl. Her physical absence cuts to my core. Sweet memories of making Valentine cards together brings a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes.

The incredible weight of this harsh reality stops me cold. Though I live with the sorrow and the longing every single moment of every day, certain moments and days still prove to be debilitating. Oftentimes, I don’t even know how I manage to carry on… I suspect that the warmth and love she gave to me for the precious eight years she was of this world is enough to last a lifetime. Like a lifeboat it carries me through. Over the roaring waves of fury. Through the fiery straits of guilt.

With every breath I take, I am grateful for my daughter. Never have I known love like hers. Warmth radiates through me like sunlight, filling my being with her love. And, though I’d do anything to have her back, I know and accept that is not possible.

I also know that her warmth and love will eventually abate the pain, and for that I am thankful.