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Monthly Archives: April 2011

Twice in the past six hours I have found myself a sobbing heap. I continue to feel so deeply for those that I love. When I know someone for whom I care is hurting, I cannot help but bleed and cry for them.

My heart was torn apart when Zev died. And as a symptom of that experience, it is as though I am now a giant sponge, soaking up the pain of others around me. The compassion I feel is overwhelming. The empathy seems, at times, too much to bear. This wounded soul is hyper-sensitive to the suffering in the world, especially of those close to me.

I grieve everyday. For myself, for those I love, for the world.

“Everything I love will always be leaving.” – Lyrics from ‘Independence Day’ by Floater

What do you do when your world is shattered? Pick up the pieces, some might say. But alas, in reality it is far more complex. A continuously evolving process of discovery; rebuilding from the ground up.

Beliefs. Feelings. Perspectives. Relationships. Hobbies. Sources of inspiration, joy and solace. All of these things and more I have had to find and develop all over again.

Actively grieving, on some days, takes a back seat to this project of search, find, filter, process, reformulate and reshape. I have grown in a multitude of ways. Over the last two years, I have been mentally, physically and emotionally challenged like never before.