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I count myself blessed and am extremely grateful on the occasions that Zev is in my dreams. The nights of my sweet Zevie dreams bring immeasurable joy. It is as though I am more aware in these, than in ordinary dreams. As if part of my consciousness is functioning, I find myself holding on to her for dear life.

Then, when dawn breaks and the harsh waking reality overtakes me, I am horrified. Soul shredding, gut wrenching, absolute anguish. I have been ripped away from my baby… again!

Despite this stark contrast and the hours it takes me to pull myself out of the chasm, I am grateful for the grace and beauty of the experience. To touch my darling girl, heart to heart, in the truest, deepest way now possible. Connected. Always.

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