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Monthly Archives: May 2010

Since Zev’s death, I find myself speaking of gratitude and practicing an ‘attitude of gratitude’ with increasing frequency.

It is so easy to live gratefully. And, yet so many of us spend a majority of our time focusing on negative thoughts and feelings. Perception and attitude truly are the most important tools in changing our lives and finding joy.

When I spend time feeling sorry for myself, and believe me, I do plenty of that, it is near impossible to view anything as positive. If I chose to live every moment that way, I would become bitter, robbing myself of hope and of joy. And I know in my heart Zev would not want me to stay stuck in a place of self-pity, bitterness, and guilt.

There have been many moments this past year that I have found comfort in seeing or hearing the expression of gratitude by a friend, neighbor, even, on occasion a stranger. It helps me to feel that Zev’s life (and untimely death) made a lasting, positive impact on the world.

Zev’s joyful, compassionate, generous spirit, her fearless attitude, and zest for life are constant sources of motivation for me.

Let her short years of human existence serve as a reminder. Life is short, and it is fragile; we should treat it as such. Reach out to those you care for, expressing your gratitude and love in as many ways possible, every day.

Sow seeds of love and gratitude, and you will find that you reap joy one-hundred-fold!

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In rare quiet moments
I acquiesce to my own hearts plea
She is only away from my embrace
But for a short passage of time

Weighted reason says otherwise
As the dagger plunges ever deeper
Endless tears fall
Dark days take hold

Shattered echoes of joyful memories
Turn into tortured minutes and hours
Aching, longing … separation feels final
Time appears to stand still

Reality screams she is gone forever
The gentle soul of a Mother
Who knows better
Calms my spirit, if only temporarily

Softly and silently she speaks to me
Quelling the agony of these empty arms
Filling this open wounded heart
For, her love is pure magic

Why do we think that because we are human we somehow are not subject to the laws of nature?

In the animal kingdom, as many as half of a ‘litter’ dies before growing old enough to survive on their own. Because of our technology we have discovered ways to prolong life, yet we are fooling ourselves to think that we can cheat death.

We can not control the weather. We cannot control time. We cannot control death, our own or other’s.

The circle of life is a reality for all living beings, for we are all connected.

This feels a bit cynical of me to be expressing, because I would save Zev’s life and or bring her back without hesitation, if I could. But I have been thinking a lot about the nature of humanity, and our obsessions with control and power. We are not immune to the laws of nature, death, and change.

‘Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose’… the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I am reminded of the synchronicity and continuity of life, and the constant energetic ebb and flow.

Zev exists and continues to show her love, giving me little gifts, hints, and nudges, reminding me we remain connected.

Recently we built a small fenced garden area so that I can plant a flower garden without the deer feasting upon any and all the foliage. Out of the numerous boards strewn about Grandpa’s yard and shed, the one that he chose to bring over for use in the project has Zev’s name on it. None of us were even aware she ever wrote on any of the two-by-fours. What wonder this universe holds. Thank you, Zevie!

Those little occurrences we often chalk up to ‘coincidence’ are as meaningful as choose we make them.

Notice the little things and recognize the magic that they hold.


“Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same that it ever was: there is absolutely unbroken continuity.” (Canon Henry Scott-Holland)