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Is it a symptom of denial that I continue to somehow expect Zev to waltz around the corner, or come in and wake me up in the morning, with a gentle touch of her hand on mine? Perhaps.

Because we spent almost every day of her life together, the habits are thus ingrained? Most definitely.

However, what I also know to be truth is that she and I are so deeply connected, even death cannot sever the ties. I can no longer hear her delightful giggles, hold her hand in mine, or kiss her button nose, but I feel her here with me.  Zev’s energy continues to surround me, whether I am curled up on her bed, driving to town, or hundreds of miles away from home. We will always be connected.

Sometimes I can take comfort in this knowledge and other times I am so blinded by the pain and sorrow of grief that it is of no consolation whatsoever.


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