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I believe the ‘it won’t happen to me’ mentality comes naturally to us. Nothing inately wrong with that — except when it does happen to you! And therein lies the danger with this way of thinking, and ultimately of living.

Truly, deeply, the thought of my child dying had never crossed my mind – even peripherally, like those random blips that skip into your consciousness and make you think ‘where did that come from?!’ And why should it, right? Never had I even imagined other children in my life dying before reaching adulthood. I suppose that is greater testament to just how super-secretive this ‘club’ is …  it is as though it’s existence only becomes reality when you unwilling become a member.

How do we deal with all the crushing horrible realities that occur in this world? Maintaining a constant state of hyper-consciousness means being keenly aware of the beauty around us, and also of the suffering. That can be a heavy burden to carry from moment to moment. However, closing our minds and hearts to the pain in the world is not something I recommend. It can act as a receipe for mental and emotional disaster when you are faced with the unthinkable. And in all likelihood some form of tragedy will likely occur, if not to us, to someone we know and care for. We are merely mortals afterall.

This is not me being pessimistic, for I am after all, a glass half-full kind of girl. It is me being realistic — speaking from my heart and the loss I have experienced. None of us will live forever…

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One Comment

  1. Danger also in loving if I may add to your first paragraph….and the greater the love the greater the pain. I can only imagine what it must feel like to lose a child, but I know thinking about it is painful so the reality of it must be excruciating.
    When Makai was born I went through a period of extreme anxiety where I would imagine a plane crashing into the house, or a landslide burying him in the mud, or him falling into a deep hole and me not being able to find him. I was having panic attacks at least twice a day, mostly at night. I told my therapist I was trying to think of every bad thing that could happen because if I could do that, it wouldn’t really happen.
    It was a weird time. I guess I was coping with the fact that something had come into my life that made me love so much it was frightening beyond belief because I knew that, like you say, we are merely mortals.


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