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Over the last six months, through my grieving, I have learned many things… My sadness and frustration at the mass amounts of people utterly afraid of death and grief is what has prompted me to begin this blog. My hope is that I will help others who are grieving or others who have loved ones, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and even strangers that are grieving…

I want to live in a world where each one of us is allowed to grieve openly and not be made to feel wrong or ashamed; without these terrible unspoken thoughts of ‘aren’t you better yet?’. Death is so taboo in our culture. And, to me, that is downright ludicrous! It happens every day, all around us – plants, animals, people, even stars die.

Death is part of life and so is grieving. We grieve everyday in small ways that we are often not even conscious of. And why do we grieve? — because we love. So why oh why is grieving something we are made to feel we should hide?

Do we need to carry signs that alert others to our anguish? I have given it some serious thought – who knows, perhaps I will have a t-shirt made that simply says ‘my daughter died’. But then, that would make people around me squirm even more than they already do…  So, instead, my ‘sign’ is my conscious decision to wear black when I am out in public. Sometimes I take that one step further and wear a picture of my daughter pinned to my shirt.

Too many thoughts are spinning through my mind, so I will simply say, be gentle with yourself and with those around you — for we do not always know the depth of pain or sorrow that another person is experiencing.

From my heart to yours…



  1. You are so strong Caitlin and it is nice to see your thoughts. Thanks for sharing and you never know who might read this that is going through the exact same thing.

    • Malissa Nigrelli
    • Posted September 22, 2009 at 4:08 pm
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    • Reply

    Thank you for sharing this blog with me. We have talked on numerous occasions about the “aren’t you over it yet?” people. I do believe that “those” individuals are afraid of the unknown to them. I hope that this opens peoples eyes and shows them that it IS OKAY to grive. I agree with every word you said. I am just soooo sorry that you have to feel this way. Today is borrowed, because tomorrow is not promised. I love Zev. I live everyday in her wonderful memory of kindness and love. I love you. Love, Hugs & Kisses to you, Anthony and Lauren. xoxo

  2. Caitlin,
    I’m an old member of the Full Moon Circle. I only lurk these days as I’ve moved over the mountains. Right now I am providing Hospice care to my father, 86, and your words and thoughts touched me so close to the heart and bone. There is much comfort and wisdom there. I thank you so much. This was a difficult day, as many of the days ahead are apt to be, but your words have helped ease my lonliness in this struggle. Thank you for your sharing.

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